10.29.2006
Home Alone & thoughts on life
It has been 10 days since I am back from the trip, and life seems going back to normal slowly. Ever since back, I have being thinking really hard about my future plans and what I really want to do next. It seems there are something missing in my life, or I wasn't feel completely happy (I could not say what cause it yet). Between work, church and family, life seems a bit boring or no clear direction. First I thought a trip to Europe and taking a break from all the ordain life will spice up my life a bit, but after a week back from the trip, life just goes back the way it was before. Yeah, it was good to see all the family and friends but I am still not completely happy. On Friday's fellowship we are finishing up the last day of the 40 days Purpose Driven Life (it is funny that 40 days appears a lot lately.....). So we had discussion and sharing about " what is your life purpose statement ?" I thought after reading the book I will somewhat have better sense about my life purpose, but it seems like I were more confused and clueless. During the discussion, I shared that my friend once told me that I seemed real unhappy and unlike before ever since I have become a Christian. I think it was true in some aspect and I am not sure why. I felt it is part of growing up, and when you know more about life, it is not always happy and simple as it used to be. It kind bring me down a bit. I know bible taught us that we should give our wearies to God and learn to rely on him, but I guess it is a bit easy to say than done. I used to say things and do things the way I want to, and the way I felt like it. All my friends loved me. But now I think twice before I do any thing....I think about if it is the right thing to do? And if it is what God want me to do? And Man it was hard......(pain in the butt). Then people tell you if you have hard time in your life is because you are not close to God. Well duh.........You think I don't know that? But how close is close to God? I want to be like David or Joseph (by the way, Joseph is my new favorite character in Bible now) who can understand God and God loves them. Although Dave screwed up the big time in the end, he is still cool in my book, hahahaahhaha. It seems like I spend a lot time, money and thoughts to become a good Christian. Try to ask the right question, try to do the good things, try to love one another and be loved by others. But all for what? Eternity and salvation? Sometimes I wish the results can be more short term and concrete ( I am just complaining).......On the other hand, I really enjoy worship and reading God's word. I think I had grow a lot spiritually and mentally. I am also real glad that God gave me such a wonderful and lovely wife. It is funny that people only realize how much you appreciate a person when the person is gone. Janice is gone for a week since she is spending some time with her family in L.A. and it is Dad's birthday. I am on my golden bachelor week. The funny thing is it is only the second day, and I already missed my honey a lot................Fortunately, only 4 more days to go...........Yeah......
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26 comments:
oh...honey...
i miss you a lot, too...
xoxoxoxoxxxoooo
Ok! Now that honeymoon's over, somebody should get back to writing about the Euro trip!
Dear Will,
Either life is too good, or you're just too bored! I had wondered about my life too, but kind of the other way around! I'd already expressed the following thoughts to several other people, and I thought I share them with you.......
I'm a Christian Baptist and I was baptized when I was a little girl. I used to go to church every week, up 'til high school, when I started to question everything. Then I stopped going to church. I still do believe in God, but just not the way most brother and sister do at church. Although I pray and talk to him all the time, I believe that I'm in control of my life, not God. He guards me and guides me, but I make my own decisions and I suffer my own consequences. I guess I see too many at church who ask God for everything instead of trying hard! It's like this, if I study and work hard, I do well. But if I don't, then I won't. There's no use praying, and it's not fair praying! There're just too many people out there who needs him more!
There's a God in every religion and God works in miraculous ways. If so, he should be able to read me praying in my mind and praising him with my heart anywhere I am 24/7. Then what's the point of going to church, or temple, or shrine and worshipping him every Sunday or any other day? It's just a formality and is
pointless. God is not superficial and worshipping to me is just another form of ass kissing.
Also, I believe we ask too much from God. We ask him for anything and everything. Are we being too greedy? Asking him something like to pass a test or to be smarter is just not appropriate.
The bottom line is ~ God wants people to do more good and be less greedy. So if I ever win the lotto, I will donate it to charity! That will do a lot more good than praying to God to see how I should spend my money! I'm just grateful for what I have and enjoy life as it is. It's harder to learn acceptance than asking God for everything!
And about the Bible. I read it like a story book. Great stories but how much of it is true? Is it translated correctly? Or it just depend on each of us interpret it?
I hope you're not offended. But that's just the way I see it!
I know one way which will solve you problem....... keep yourself really busy so you won't have time to think...... like get a kid, that'll keep you occupied!
God blesses you!
wow, thanks for the sharing, and I am not offended. Everyone entiled to their own rights of beliefs. I think I am just in a stage of transition. I belive God will pull me through and I will keep praying. I think you are right about sometimes we do tend to ask too much from God, but I guess that is what children do..............it is funny to see people have different view about God, and I hope my shring will not change your relationship with God.............One thing I would like to clarify, I belive there are many religions, but there is only one true God. Like there is only one truth which guided the universe. I can not imagine how can many God guide the universe, it will be like too many chiefs in the kitchen. Or like in the Greek Mythology, too many Gods and it was a mess. hehehe. So One God, one truth for me.............
honey, still miss you...
Will,
Amen! One GOD who was, is and is to come. The trinity, the Father, the Son Jesus and Holy Spirit.
Keep praying, I believe that He will bring you to a higher ground.
May His will be done in your life and His Kingdom come upon you.
Hello Will,
Dennis from New Zealand here.
Feeling happy is not the purpose of our life. Rather, it's the result or presentation of our inner state. The happiness driven by leading a meaningful life is more profound and long lasting.
A meaningful life comes in many aspects and there are many options you can take. To me, meaningfulness could be
raising family
good relationship with wife
helping friends
church fellowship
keeping fit
engaged with my hobby tennis!
.........
Above all, raising kids is the best experience in my life. It's very rewarding because we give our love and influence without asking return.
And investing quality time with our spouse is equally important too. When she is happy, you will feel happier too. hahaha..
Dear WIll,
I hate to rain on you parade! Although Christianity is the largest religion, which denominatioin is the true one? You've got Catholics, Orthodox, Protestants, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Methodists, Baptists.... Not to mention that Christianity started out as a sector of Jewish religion.
Ok, even if all Christianity denominations added together, you only have 33% of the world's population. How are you going to convince the other 67% that Christianity is the true one? And their Gods are fony!
Also, science often contradicts with religioin. That's why 16% of the world's population are atheist, including many scientists.
Can you really tell me that there's no doubt in your mind that you believe in all the stories in the bible?! That they don't sound mythothogical? You're smarter than that! Right?
The truth is within yourself! Believe, or NOT believe in whatever you want. But put our prejudice aside and learn to accept all people, all religions, and all Gods.
Religions and population worldwide:
Christianity 2.1 billion
Islam 1.3 billion
Secular/Atheist/Irreligious/Agnostic/Nontheist 1.1 billion
Hinduism 900 million
Chinese folk religion 394 million
Buddhism 376 million
Primal indigenous ("Pagan") 300 million
African traditional and diasporic 100 million
Sikhism 23 million
Juche 19 million
Spiritism 15 million
Judaism 14 million
Bahá'í Faith 7 million
Jainism 4.2 million
Shinto 4 million (see below)
Cao Dai 4 million
Zoroastrianism 2.6 million
Tenrikyo 2 million
Neo-Paganism 1 million
Unitarian Universalism 800,000
Rastafari movement 600,000
So open your mind and read up, young lad!
其實...威爺心裏的疑惑...有了小孩後會完全解除的!哈哈哈~~~XD
Will, I bless you on your quest. I am so happy to hear that you are not satisfied with where you are at. God is stirring you up for the next level of intimacy with Him and for that I am so excited & will pray for you! God has such a destiny for you and Janice, you are not made for the ordinary for you are "extra" ordinary. I know that God will reveal His plan for you in His time & to a great extent it is dependant on you. Ask God for BIG things! Ask Him for the sands of the sea shore! For a huge harvest of souls! Do you think that God will not give it to you? God is looking for a willing vessel who will do His bidding. Don't believe others who say that you do not deserve great things for that is pure ignorance. Don't fall for that "You are not deserving" that's a load of BS. Be absolutely greedy for the greater things that He wants to give you. You are a son of the King of KINGS and the Lord of LORDS for He is the one who has put boredom in your heart for this season. He is preparing you for something. Don't you feel it? I can hear God saying, "That's it Will, that's it. Keep pressing in. You are almost there. Keep your focus on Me. You are almost there."
I am so fired up for you now that I gotta go out & do something. May the one & only true YAHWEH (Jesus' Father)bless you beyond all measure.
謝謝你的分享。
昨天晚上讀的, 思考了很久, 卻不敢隨便回答你。
我也求問神如何幫你, 我覺得神給的感動只兩個字" 禱告“
我也問神那是你 禱告, 還是我 禱告？
祂沒回答哩！！ 看來我們都要禱告 ：Ｄ
我覺得你沒有離神很遠, 你是飢餓吧。 你渴望更深的認識神, 遇見祂 , 被祂使用 。
我想更多的禱告, 等候神, 思想神的話。 讓神的話進入你的生命, 會對你有幫助
好比把一顆種子（神的話）埋在泥土（心）的裡, 按時澆灌它（祂）必長大結果（成為你的生命）。
另外我們相信的不是一個宗教, 宗教是死的。 世上很多的教會把基督教當成一個宗教在信,
真的很可惜。
基督徒 - 基督的門徒, 神要的是和人建立關係。 信仰的目的是幫助我們認識神的特性。
讓我們經歷祂的信實慈愛, 讓屬天的性格長成在我們身上。
如果當基督徒只是一個模式, 上教會只是一個形式, 敬拜一定要這樣或那樣的方式, 那基督教對你而言還是一個宗教。
神是信實的, 祂的話語是永存的, 我懷疑過神, 但神卻沒讓我失望過。
慢慢的我嘗試順服祂的代領, 雖然有時違反常理, 但當你選擇相信順服祂, 那就是神的國超越世上的常理。 經歷過一次, 神國的屬性又長成在你身上, 慢慢的那些違反常理的事在你身上就變的很正常了。
我人生的目的要與神的榮耀有份, 我不求明天, 我要的是今天神的生命在我身上。 我一定要每天跟神求, 求到我得到為止。 神把祂的獨生愛子都給我了, 有甚麼不能求的？我跟神求金錢上的祝福, 祂賜給我們生意一天好過一天, 我不是要誇我們所做的有多少。 但我要誇那賜我一切的神, 祂賜我金錢, 讓我能祝福世界各地的宣教事工, 祂也把得救的人數加給我。 我要我今天的生命是能挑起人的心, It's not the word I say or things I do. 是神的國, 神的生命和能力在我身上。
To ICECREAMPUFF:
I miss you too.....
To Rebecca:
I will keep praying lo.....
To Dennis:
first of all, welcome to my blog, and thank you for your encouragement. I really like your sharing about how happiness is driven by the meaningful life, and I am sure raising a kid will be the experience of the life time.
It just a bit confuse to me that what is real happiness in my life, and I am sure it is different for everyone. I guess I need to figure that one out soon....
Anyway, glad you left me a message.....
To Aiwen:
wow, what can I say. thank you so much for those stats on the religions and population. It was an eyeopener.
but in regards to your comments, I would like to share my thoughts, and I hope we can still be friend after you read it. Hahahahahahaha.
1. How are you going to convince the other 67% that Christianity is the true one? And their Gods are fony!
-fortuntely, it is not my job to convence the rest of the non Christian about their beliefs are fony, it is God's job. And I have a choice of whether if I want to be in God's grand plan or not. How God is going to do it? I don't know because I am not God and I will never want to pretend I am God.
2. Can you really tell me that there's no doubt in your mind that you believe in all the stories in the bible?! That they don't sound mythothogical? You're smarter than that! Right?
-Unfortunately, I do believe all the stories in the bible, and I think a lot of it has science proof. like the Noah's arc, and where Mosses separate the red sea. I guess I am not as smart as you want. hahahahahahahaha.
3. The truth is within yourself! Believe, or NOT believe in whatever you want. But put our prejudice aside and learn to accept all people, all religions, and all Gods.
-I agree about the prejudice, and I think it is what cause all the fighting and the wars. I think Jesus' teaching is all about accepting people and their differences. If God would come to earth and Judge people, I dont think any of us will be here typing blog now. hehehe. I wish everyone is christian, but i also think everyone is entitled to their own beliefs like I once were. and I choosed Jesus.
so we are still friends right? Since I am the young lad, and still have a lot to learn. hehehehehe
To Joyce:
好像最近ㄧ直有人在催生, 還是說者無意聽者有心?????
To Dave:
thanks for your sharing and encouragements. I could not agree more. Please remembered me in your prayers.
To Claire:
謝謝你慎重ㄉ回答和Prayers. 我想我是飢餓, 渴望更深的認識神, 遇見祂 , 被祂使用吧.
我粉喜歡你ㄉ分享 " 我懷疑過神, 但神卻沒讓我失望過". I think it is exactly what i need to hear now.
part of my frastration is that I make the same prayer about having God use me every morning, but my life just seems the same everyday, and I am not seeing God's glory really make me sad. but i felt so much better now, i think prayer and patience is the key now.
To Joy:
who is Cindy????? I think it is break time for you. wahahahahahahaha
it's getting deeper and deeper...
Dear Will,
Maybe you can try to answer my first question too. Then I can decide if we can still be friend, haha!......
"Although Christianity is the largest religion, which denominatioin is the true one? You've got Catholics, Orthodox, Protestants, Lutherans, Presbyterians, Methodists, Baptists...........and a lot more.
I knew a few Jews back in the States who tried to convert me years ago! After all, Christianity did started out as a sector of Jewish religion. They said that most Christians believe that Jesus is "true God and true man". But Jews believe that Jesus was wrong to create Christianity. The true God is the Creator.
So if Jesus is the true God, maybe all the temples and the shrines, and what have you should be burned to the ground?! And those who are not Christian are just living a lie?
"神"... 到底是上帝? 是耶穌? 還是何方神聖? 誰的真理才是真的真理? It's within yourself. Be true to your belief and be true to yourself! And when you have a kid, let him search within himself and find his own truth! After all, didn't we all?
To Aiwen:
I guess our friendship has be built on explaining our religion and beliefs. But I hope we settle our differences over cup of tea or fry rice, hahaha.
to your first question, I think as long as it is a Denomination of Christianity. it is the same God. I do not know too much about Orthodox or protestants but I hear that our God perform same great miracles in Baptist church as well as in Catholic church. People created denominations, not God. If you refer to the Genesis, God created heaven and earth, man and woman and all creatures but never religion or denominations. I believe God allowing the existance of all those denominations to show his mercy(given us choices), so different type of people can find whichever denominations fits them the best.
Christianity did come out off as Jews and Isreali's religion, and again, i think we belive the same God. it just that Jews deny Jesus as son of God and they are still waiting for their messiah to come. You see, different denominations emphasize different aspects of chrisitanity, but the bottom line is it is the same God.
I am not so sure about burning things down. Like I said, I am not here to judge and I dont qualify to judge anyone or any religions. Only true God can, and I will never try to be God. I think in our world, there are too many people try to be God and that is why it cause so many hate and wars.
I agree w/ you about truth within myself. overall, it is a very personal belief. I hope Janice and I can share our lives as the mircles of God, and our lives can proof God's glory, but never press our belives upon anyone. I believe that is why Janice and I write blogs and try to share our lives with everyone online.
Last, I would like to clarify is that I love God and I love my relationship with him. God has done great things in my life, and knowing him is the best decision i ever made in my life (and marry w/ Janice). I just felt a bit confused from time to time.
Ok, you can still be my friend...... Now can you move on to Amazing Race 5?!
About your furniture......what kind of furniture do you design? I thought you're an architect? Do you design furniture for the firm, or do you do it on the side?
I know the furniture market in Taiwan pretty well. And my husband is still working for a Taiwanese furniture retailer, currently expanding in China.
You know that knock offs are everywhere in Taiwan & China, right? So in order to sell, they need to either be really cheap (like IKEA) or really hard to copy (like the carvings of Baker & the joints of Stickley......). We've tried our market with high end European contemporary, simple furniture and it was a disaster! Too expensive, easy to copy, and most Europeans suppliers that we deal with are not too bright, not to mention lazy!
Also, we know furniture factories in China which can cut your cost down if you mass produce, or if you just want to sell your design and not want to mess with the production. So why don't you show me what you've got, or tell me where I can see them, that is, if you trust me.
its time to update your blog, hahaha....... 還是太想我沒心情寫啦?
To Aiwen:
thanks for still want to be my friend. hahaha.
I would love to show you my furniture design, and I will post it on the blog later. Yeah, I really love design and make furniture. I worked in the shop at berkeley when I was studying architecture there. It was pretty decent wood and metal shop. After I graduate, I apprentenced at a custom furniture shop in Oakland for about a year. Then my friend and I put together a little shop for about 2 years, but now it was closed down since none of us have extra time. Can I bug you more about the furniture industry in Taiwan and China?
Sure, bring it on! I'll tell you what I know, my friend!
I just copy&paste the following words from my friend's blog to share with you...
Live Simply
Love Generously
Care Deeply
Speak Kindly
And Leave the Rest to God
Happiness Keeps You Sweet
Trials Keep You Strong
Sorrows Keep You Human
Failures Keep You Humble
Success Keeps You Growing
And God Keeps You Going
To Aiwen:
Oh yeah, 4 sure I will bring it BIG MAMMA !!!!
To Gwen:
thanks for the sharing, I think I still have a lot to learn about how to leave things to God, and let God keeps me going.
不過玟玫姊, 這是我聽妳講過最有深度ㄉ話ㄌ. 平常妳都是罵yaya, noah 或是跟Yao Yao鬥嘴....hahahahaha
to Will,
How come "Big Mamma" to me sounds like I'm a fat African lady? Doesn't it to you? uh? Big WIlly! ha! ha!
to Gwen,
Sounds good!
But realistically......
I ......
Live confusingly,
Love endlessly,
Care bluntly,
Speak loud and carelessly,
And leave the rest to God!
To Aiwen:
the way you spell MAMMA sound like the southener, and I guess there are a lot fat african MAMMA in the area. I was just playing with you, if you dont like, I can call you something else. Until then, you are BIG MAMMA in my book.....wahahahahaha
ps. I prefer big will over willy, or bill. all my collegemate called me big will.
To Joy:
I heard of Aging and that is what I was suspecting.
yeah, i think sometimes our faith need to be tested. I had realized I had more faith than I thought. I realized many truth that I did not know that I know I had within me. Anyway, see you guys on Saturday.
Dear Will,
Then BIG MAMMA it is! Afterall, I AM from the south. Or you can call me whatever you'd like! I don't mind! Most people don't like to be called Big Willy because they can't live up to it! ha! ha!
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